Do you feel like you have balance in your life?
Everyone is talking about balance. Everyone is hunting for balance. Everyone seems to need balance.
But yet we are so busy. SOOOO busy. Often our days are filled with family, children, work, friends, chores, errands, chasing dreams, and hobbies. With so many things filling up our days, it seems what is most important: our relationship with God, our relationship with our spouse, our relationship with our children, our relationship with our friends, and taking care of our physical selves, gets pushed farther and farther to the back burner.
I am not saying there is anything wrong with any of the items above. Sure we should have dreams and goals. God has a plan and purpose for all of us, but these goals often get shifted to the back burner because our lives are out of order.
I want to share my personal journey with finding some balance in my life. Balance is such a huge word everyone uses these days. I almost wish there was another word. From my experience balance is not a place you fight to get to, arrive at, and stay forever. You find daily balance when you make a decision to order your life according to the Bible and God’s word.
In the spring of 2012, I was very overwhelmed. It wasn’t that I was doing too much, I just had everything prioritized as important. If you read our financial story, you know what my hubby and I were a 2 income household again and I started making the hubby go to the doctor ( I am sure all wives do this). When Deaundre went to the dentist, we learned that he needed to have 2 of his wisdom teeth removed and he had to have a root canal on one tooth. I believe we had the wisdom teeth removed first and then we started in on the root canal. There were a lot of appointments with different dentists, plus co-pays, plus deductibles. Also it was nearing the end of our season at work so I was pretty burned out. To be honest, I knew I was burnt out & tired, but I couldn’t see where to cut back and I also couldn’t really articulate what was wrong with me, so I pushed forward.
On the day of Deaundre’s root canal, I got the appointment time mixed up. Once I realized this we left right away but we were set to arrive about 5 minutes late. I called the office in route and they said if he was late, they wouldn’t see him. So of course I was not happy with this news. I had taken off work, we were only going to be 5 MINUTES LATE!! I thought this was ridiculous for 5 minutes. We would most likely still be in the waiting room for 5 minutes. So we got there, and I dropped Deaundre at the door and he went up, and they wouldn’t see him. I was hot! So we left. No I didn’t want to reschedule. We will see someone else.
(This would be a good time to add I called to apologize to the office staff the next morning and also apologized to Deaundre, because…yea I lost it.)
I share this story here not just to rehash one of the most embarrassing moments of my life, I typically don’t act like this, but I hope I can help someone else who is really close to this point in their life.
After we left the office, I just kept crying. Yep…full breakdown. I tried to pray, but I just couldn’t calm down. I was touch and go for the rest of the week honestly.
So eventually God spoke to me and told me that I have my life all out of order. I will include the chart he brought back to my memory below:
God said I had him and everyone else in the top umbrella. This was later confirmed by my Hubby when he told me that I care too much about…everything.
After this, I started to reorder my life. I started to say no. I had to put God and my Hubby first. I started by wakening up daily and spending time with God and praying to start my day. I started trying to schedule friends around my Hubby’s work schedule so we could have all the quality time we could get. When I think back, this was a very quiet time in my life. Any problems that came up at work or at home, I took them to God and I kept moving ahead. I had to trust God to fix my problems and stop trying to fix them myself.
After this (maybe about 3 months in) amazing things started to happen. Once I got order in my life, my relationship with my husband became better than its ever been. Praying about the problems in our marriage vs. nagging and talking about the problems in our marriage…was key. I would also like to add, I didn’t pray for changes in my husband as much as I prayed for changes in my attitude. God made it clear, this whole season was about me. I even feel God caused some things to happen to get my attention. I asked God to strengthen me to do everything that needs to be done. I wanted to be a true help meet for my husband instead of trying to make him take what I viewed as his “fair share”. When I fully gave up trying to make my home function the way I wanted, God stepped in. I prayed this over every area of my life: work, friends, and family.
I also want to say, I realize this is not popular. What is popular is “Girl you ain’t got to do that” and “Girl you better tell those people…” but let me explain. My view is a wife is a help meet. If you are married, you goal is to fill in gaps for your husband. You have to let go of the world’s view of marriage and accept what God created you for: HELP MEET. Also #noshade but if what you are doing is not working, maybe you should try something different. #justsaying
My key to balance is keeping God and the things he tells me to do first. I hope this blesses you! Do you feel like you have balance in your life? What are you working on to achieve it? Let’s discuss below!